Author Topic: Jokes Master Thread (Read 734454 times)

srap · « **Reply #1360 on:** April 20, 2014, 02:03:07 PM »

Quote from: etech0 on April 20, 2014, 12:28:52 PM

if you lend someone twenty bucks, and never see them again, it was probably worth it.

+1 Your wit doth spillith over.

emak · « **Reply #1361 on:** April 20, 2014, 02:40:27 PM »

Similar: it's good to borrow $ from a pessimist, because he's not expecting it back.

Achas Veachas · « **Reply #1362 on:** April 20, 2014, 02:43:15 PM »

How do we know that a Minhag is stronger than a Mitzvah?

Because פריעת בעל חוב מצוה, and yet the Minhag is not to...

etech0 · « **Reply #1363 on:** April 20, 2014, 02:56:38 PM »

Quote from: srap on April 20, 2014, 02:03:07 PM

+1 Your wit doth spillith over.

etech0 · « **Reply #1364 on:** April 20, 2014, 03:06:20 PM »

There's a shul I know where the chazzan is so frum that he doesn't even carry a tune on shabbos!

etech0 · « **Reply #1365 on:** April 20, 2014, 03:32:08 PM »

Whoever said nothing is impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.

Freddie · « **Reply #1366 on:** April 24, 2014, 01:13:06 AM »

All week long, Chaim works in the city, then on Fridays, he drives up to the bungalow in the Catskills for the weekend. Every Friday, he drives by a tomato farm by the side of the road with a sign saying: “Pick Your Own Tomatoes!” After a few weeks, he decides to pull over and have a look.

“How much are the tomatoes?” asks Chaim.

“It depends,” says the farmer.

“How about that one there?” asks Chaim, pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging heavily on the vine.

“A beauty like that? Two dollars.”

“How much for that one?” asks Chaim pointing to a tiny, green tomato.

“It’s not ripe.”

“But that’s the one I want,” says Chaim, “How much is it?”

“Five cents,” shrugs the farmer.

“Deal!” says Chaim shaking the farmer’s hand, “I’ll pick it up at the end of the summer.”